Thursday, September 25, 2008

Stalking shelves

I have this tic; maybe a twitch. I substitute a completely wrong word a lot.

I just wrote a sentence: "She kept stalking shelves." Maybe she did. Maybe that's her passion; to creep up behind them, unbeknowst to the innocent shelves, just sitting there, holding cans of soup and tampons and the like. More reasonable, maybe, would be that she kept stocking shelves.

I fancy myself a writer? Most of the time I can't even get my words do you say it, edgewise? Nope, that's not it. sideways? how about succinctly?

I mostly do this when speaking. Stella is used to it, pointing out with glee my malapropisms. It's gotten to the point that I sometimes wonder; are synapses misfiring (obviously) and if so then -

should I be concerned? Is this verbal and occasional twitch a sign, a harbinger of things to come? The dementia that I will rail against in my early forties? Early on-set Alzheimer's? Mid-thirties (god, I can't believe I can write that and it's TRUE) senility?

Then I remember. It's nothing to be worried about. It's only Mom Brain.

Mom Brain occurs in mothers (this is key; sounds obvious, but Mom Brain does not occur anywhere else, specifically, to any other female, thus creating that juxtaposition between mothers/not mothers that pits our sex occasionally against the other; and also, Mom Brain also does not occur to men.)

Mom Brain is due to the myriad streams of thoughts we balance at all times. The black sweater can't go in the wash, there is a stain on the baby's jams, we only have three diapers left, Stella has a swimming lesson and I have to take the baby so we're going to need to little snacks and her swimsuit and her crocs and her towel and the lock (forgot that) and a bubba and she'll have to have a shower after supper and the clothes pile that's been dumped in the hall for a week has to get sorted.

I forgot to buy sliced cheese and so the grilled cheese cheese will need to be grated and I have to return three phone calls about the conference I'm organizing AND IT IS NEXT WEEK and the guy from one of the Crown corps has been sending me blank emails all day and I need to remember to phone and ask him what it is exactly that he's trying to say.

It's Thursday, which is the day that I water plants, and now that is getting moved to Friday because I forgot. I forgot for the fourth day in a row to call the painter to come back to put another coat on the door upstairs but I did call SaskPower about putting the power lines underground but I forgot to ask if I need to make a separate call to SaskTel.

Scintillating stuff, isn't it? Maybe that's why I forget half of what I need to do and do the other half all mixed up.


Jen said...

We have so much on our minds, us mothers. No wonder we can't keep anything straight.

lotusloq said...

You've completely captured it! I have Mom Brain too!