I can't believe I ever thought anything mean about her. Her writing suggests that she is a very cool, down to earth person.
Must have been my jealous side.
(part of an ongoing conversation with Myself)
See that's the thing. Either you do one thing really well, or two things badly. But why have we set up our systems like that? We have set ourselves up to fail.
By trying to fit into society's construct of women/men role alignment, we position ourselves poorly. The way the work week is structured, the way we work, work itself and what we value and don't, are all very paternalistic (and therefore, by the nature of the duality, unmaternalistic) structure.
For instance. If a person were to work from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. with two small children and one spouse, the day could break down something like this:
Get up at crack of dawn.
Get self ready, quietly. (Quiet is imperative here; unthinkable how day might unfold if Childs 1&2 get up before adult members of household are ready)
Get Child #1 up. Feed, clothe, tooth care, hair styling. Talk about the potential happenings of the day. Encourage bright looking, kind hearts, and no kick fights under the table at daycare.
Ensure all packed lunches are ready to go.
Eat own breakfast. Make coffee and drink no matter what.
Get Child #2 up. Bottle of nicely warmed milk with vitamins and omega 3s added. Snuggle. Hold tight. Feed breakfast, always a hit-and-miss endeavour. Both literally and figuratively.
Start car and scrape windows because garage is filled with furniture, books, and an assortment of power tools scattered across the car parking space.
Other parent takes Child #1 to daycare and drives back across city to arrive chronically late.
Take Child #2 to home care (as yet unsourced but was thankfully a dear friend doing a dear favour that deserves not only Lemon Poppeyseed Loaf but also eternal gratitude).
Leave both lunch and all work materials at home on bench by door. Realize three blocks from work that all work materials are on bench. Drive back home and pick up. Thank god that the key is in pocket after momentary panic that key is lost.
Pick up children at appropriate times post day. Give children snack of berries, picking through to remove (mostly) mouldy berries that were purchased yesterday.
Make hasty supper, doing best to incorporate something green and something homemade. Struggle through supper with cranky and tired children.
and so on....
Success in this field also depends on the support systems a person has. Some of this is how we set it up ourselves, but a lot is luck of the draw. People with family who can provide free and easy childcare (or even not free but still easy, easy in terms of worry and comfort levels) have a leg up on people who depend on outside care. Outside care, which can be downright difficult to find, is a whole new labyrinth of difficulties to navigate; from who drives and picks up to how to deal with staff turnover and shortages to home providers who do extensive renovations and get the flu.
Places for the little wees, a tricky age at best, are near non-existent, in my world, anyways, and the earliest that one will come open will be fall 2009, unless I choose to do the one here, one there, method, which I know from those close to adds yet another layer of time-rushing to the day.
Anyways, I don't fit in the world of desks and offices anyways, so this is sort of a moot point personally. Sometimes, however, when I think about how feminism can seem so far ahead and then suddenly so not, I get a little out of breath.
That's all. I'll breathe a bit this weekend and come back with the chip off my shoulder.
Telephones gave us a connectivity that changed the scope of humanity. Ditto fax machines, radios, computers and their ubiquitous partner, email. But none of the above has ever offered a tool with the potential to wrap it all up into a nice package and do a lot of mindless legword for us.
Until social networking sites, that is.
It seems, to me, anyways, that people rarely feel blase about social networking. I'm talking mostly about Facebook, since that is all I know. People either extoll its virtues or decry it as a terrible invention.
I'm of the rather not/mild opinion that Facebook is life altering. In a positve way. How many times in your life (this will change dependent upon age) have you wondered how someone is doing, or what they are up to, or where they ended up? How many times do you miss seeing a dear friend, and all the things that go along with a close physical connection, like children growing and home renovations and holidays? Those are the things you show your dinner guests, or you talk about on a sunny afternoon while sipping coffee and eating cookies. Not something you make into a big package and ship off to those dear but far flung.
Facebook decriers seem to all have the same three complaints. Let's examine them.
Step into the two thousands, as Tara would say. The double 00's. Out of the 90s. I'm sure phones and electricity and typewriters were all scary objects, too, at one time. Isn't it better if we all know each other a little more, instead of cocooning in the insulated spaces of our own creation?
*On the not having children thing; I really just don't get that. I
don't get it. I'm trying really hard, recognizing that not all people should
have children, but I don't really understand people who choose not to. Even as I
write that I want to strike it out, so harsh and judgemental. Somehow I'm going
to have to work through this...animosity is too strong....inability to
understand. There. That describes. I'm going to have to work through my
inability to understand. Why does it matter to me? Why do I care? I
know that since I was small I like people to see it my way. I know, I know,
everyone does. But somehow I seem to have a corner office on the tenth floor of
"my way or the highway," and maybe people who say that they don't want children,
or the ultimate, 'I'm too selfish to have children,' really get my goat. Maybe
I'll have to practice a mantra (here we go again - do we practice a mantra? do a
mantra? speak a mantra? it's like you're watching me stumble my way through the
English language over here) on how to let this go. Let me work on it and I'll
get back to you.
As per our phone chat, here is my contact info and a resume.
I’m self-employed full-time in the music and entertainment industry.
I also have a great deal of special event and PR experience, 10 years of education with a Communication Degree and Music Diploma. With an encyclopedic knowledge of music, I am an excellent, fun and personable DJ. I am probably one of the very few DJ’s in the industry who is a real musician and fully self-employed in music.
Not an easy task in this day and age (ask anyone how much music they or their
kids have illegally downloaded or copied, my industry is being robbed $700
million a year in Canada alone). Not to be dramatic but with my background and
aptitude, I am fully a living example of someone who’s career is stolen by this
situation. Thus I do count on these shows to make a living and DJ’ing is not
just a side job for me. Plus I enjoy it. I’m do have to express that I’m a
little upset at this situation with the show on Sat night. I had this
booked on my calendar for several months and there was a contract.
I’m an independent contractor. Despite the situation with xx, we did contact you and
try to honour the contract. Yet it was just given to [another company] *author note: the other company was not bankrupt I have performed 3 booked weddings and at the Terry Fox Run with brilliant results since this has happened to us. (Illustrating that we as DJ’s being honourable, good business people and not leaving these folks in the lurch....tho their deposits were frozen by the bank....we paid ourselves from the balance). I still feel this should be my show. If you want I can talk to ]other
not-bankrupt company] and explain the situation and see if I can work it out
with them. I do appreciate your offer to do other events and please contact
me for future shows. Thanks & Best Regards,