Thursday, December 04, 2008

Power


You know how hindsight is always 20/20? And after the fact you can see why something had to happen? or not happen?

I've been stewing in my own misery for the last six weeks or so. After a strong and incredibly enjoyable yoga practice, life changing/affirming in its strength, the practice simply shrivelled.

Sometimes, to get by in life, certain things go by the wayside. Like a budget, only this was a time budget.

With this renovation swinging madly all over the place and eating up every last ounce of household energy it would have been pure selfishness to continue taking that time for me. I went about once a week, clinging to the liberation it brings mentally and physically, but once a week is like a drop in the bucket.

On this subject I was dejected. Of course my mind spiralled all over the place. Will I return? Is this the start of just not going anymore? You know when you go to the gym for a while and stop; you can't imagine just where you ever found the time? It became harder and harder to remember that this isn't normal life, that there would again be time.

This week, for the sake of my sanity, I went two days in a row. Going, feeling everything open and flex and move with the fluidity that yoga brings, I learned a couple of valuable lessons.

I relearned that likely life-long lesson about time and place. I learn it and I forget. I learn it again.

I learned that sometimes a break is the best thing. Somehow, oddly, I could bend further and experience parts of yoga that I hadn't when going three or four times a week. How odd, I thought. Upon reflection I realized that I was likely stuck, had rutted myself by preconceived notions of what I could do or not do. Taking that break I came back refreshed and with the ability to let my body do, instead of my mind allow.

It's good to be back.

2 comments:

Jen said...

I was thinking some similar thoughts this week. I felt so wonderful after my summer session of yoga. And then I stopped and I can feel it in my body and my soul. I've vowed to go back in January.

And you know what, sometimes we need to be a little selfish and take that time.

spinregina said...

you are so right...can't look after anyone else till we look after ourselves.