Wednesday, January 21, 2009

And on and on

And the beat goes on.

(Sometimes on and on, droning and repetitive, but mostly just on.)

Life takes you everywhere and back, if you let it. That is the conclusion that I've come to, and of course, is subject to change given the whims of my nature. At any given moment I allow myself the ability to stop on a dime, reevaluate, and dramatically reinvent myself.

Whether it was nature or nurture, and by this time that is really just an interesting intellectual question to be pursued and discussed, cocktail party style, when Time is not pressing. We'll leave that for another day. Another decade, perhaps.

In high school I became mighty concerned with matters of Injustice and Inequality. Given that I was miserable (I don't have to feel guilty like L&L do, about having a Happy Childhood) it seems prosaic to say it (*I've always wanted to write that; prosaic to say it, it just reads so cool...really, I do feel like I'm painting with words sometimes.) but that Misery translated into the occasional positive action.

I became the poster child for opposition. I've mentioned it briefly before, but if anything happened to the underdog (and, given the position of underdog things happened to them quite frequently; our version of Friday Night Lights featured a much less attractive cast of generally working class jocks, and a jock by any definition is someone who, at the top of the Pecking Order, must Peck) I was there, ready to fight for fairness.

This spirit followed to university where I nearly drove my parents mad by enrolling in Women's Studies. Had they been aware that such a course was offered they likely wouldn't have even presented the option of further education. Women's Studies, of course, offered myriad ways to organize. To rally. To cry out against the injustice.

And then I was worn out. I guess that's why people typically go to school when they're young; it takes a lot out of a person. I was exhausted by the multitude of injustice perpetuated every single day. Female genital mutilation. Sex selective abortion. Wife burning. And on. And on. I turned my back (if not my heart) and lived my life in a gluttony of freedom, caring mostly for eyeshadow and cute clothes.

Of course, life has turned me around, gently tapping my shoulder and reminding me that hey, while others didn't cast off that mantle of feminism and continued to do the work that needs (to this day) to be done.

Here is the crux of it, though. I'm tired. I have enough trouble getting through my days, making interesting dinners and ensuring that the 3 kinds of milk necessary in our house are up to date and chilling. Going to yoga. Seeing my friends. Parenting. Wifing. Etc. Etc.

But I think that all signs point to do something. Whether it's going to be a letter or....and that's where I get stuck, I've got to do something at least. Something to ease this anger and disgust that this is still a Women's Issue and that it still exists.

On a lighter note, they just closed two daycare centres in my city. 60 spaces. Poof. Gone.


Lisa and Laura said...

Injustice is overwhelming when it's EVERYWHERE. And it can lead to inertia. When there are so many big problems to solve it's hard to even figure out where to begin.

And then day-to-day life takes over...conference calls, trips to the grocery and yes, the 3 kinds of milk required to keep your family running.

Wanting to help and actually helping are two different things. I've wanted to help for a long time, but when it comes to actually helping I know I haven't done enough. So, Ms. Women's Studies Major, think of something us mothers can do. A way we contribute and help and still do everything else.

Of course, I take comfort in the fact that I'm doing something to make the world a better place by raising two compassionate, happy, loving children. Well, hopefully they'll be all of those things once they grow out of the terrible 2's and 3's. I guess if I'm being truthful, right now I've really got two demanding, temper tantrum throwing, Diego fiends.

Captain Hook said...

There are everyday things that can be done to help. When I was a stay-at-home mom, every week a couple of working mothers I knew would bring me money and their grocery shopping lists. They didn't have the time to shop and still spend time with their kids, so I would do their shopping for them.

One of those women worked 12 hour days, so I would precook and freeze the week's meals for her so that all she had to do was pop it in the oven.

There are many things, little every day things, that can help another woman immensely, even though it doesn't seem like much to us.

lotusgirl said...

Kristen, you plan. I'll follow! I'm a good indian. Not such a good chief. It broke my heart the first time I heard about certain cultures killing baby girls just because they're girls. What's so great about boys? But what can we do about it? You plot and plan!

Wow, capt. hook, that's some great service. I think a lot of times we don't count that as the helping womankind in general, but I think it does.

Lady Glamis said...

Sarah has a great point. I agree with her and Lois that helping out our neighbor is helping out big time. It all starts small.

And yes, you took the Women's Study courses. Any ideas from there on what we can do to help? Did they offer any ideas in there? Or was it all just learning what's wrong?

This is a great topic! Keep it up! I'm all fired up now.

Leon Basin said...

I really like the picture:) How are you by the way?

Justus M. Bowman said...

If you're taking care of your family, you're doing a fine job.

There's always a place for mommy in the world.

P.S. I'm a man.

spinregina said...

L&L - thanks for totally understanding, because I know you do. And you too, Lady G, and don't you worry this topic is far from gone. I hate to use the word fester because I hate that word but it has been. Festering.

Captain Hook - can you come be my neighbour? We may have frigid weather but it does kill the bugs, and most of our tanning beds are safe.

Leon - did you have another word in that sentence? It seems like it's missing something. How am I? Mad! Not true. Mostly happy. But also mad.

Justus - I see you are in the lovely place where you are in awe of the woman who just had your baby. Keep that feeling, okay? Thanks AGAIN for saying something nice.