Wednesday, January 14, 2009

chchchchch changes


Change happens. Usually the stuff we hear about is the monumental, mind-boggling change that requires sleepless nights and endless discussion to be determined. Or the change that comes on the fly, surprising in its ability to confer difference so quickly.

Slow, creeping change, the one that sneaks up on us like water lapping quietly, that we don't hear so much about. Change like watching a child grow or a flower bloom. Slow and steady, yet relentless. (Ruthless)

What I like about myself (hey, no one ever said I was modest) is that I'm a mix of the two. Really, a technical marvel. I make rapid and sudden changes, like one day I smoke and then poof, the next I am an ardent and augmentative non-smoker. Poof.

Other change I like to spring on myself. Creaking and muffled. One day I didn't want kids. Many years later I had morphed myself into a Human Being (the force of will was almost unimaginable, but bear with me here) and now two tiny human beings cling to me with like barnacles on a boat. As a matter of fact, one is propped on my hip poking at the screen.

*I will return to this later as the poking has become rather violent. I henceforth blame all unnoticed spelling errors on Sophie.*

Change is good.

Right?

I'm feeling the pangs of difficult decisions looming. On one hand/on the other hand plays out continuously, the refrain looping endlessly.

Maybe one of the changes in myself is to trust myself. Before (before what, I don't know, but basically before I felt like I do now) I didn't trust my instincts, my intuitions. I've learned, mostly the hard way, that those two things are the biggest barometers I have.

Change.

Coming.

4 comments:

Lisa and Laura said...

Oh boy, my post about Gossip Girl looks really immature after reading this.

Change is scary, but exciting. Can't wait to see where it takes you.

Also, my computer has been poked, slammed, dropped and licked (yes, licked) by my two kiddies more times than I'd like to remember.

It's like they're trying to tell me something...

lotusgirl said...

The smudgy fingerprints on my screen don't ever seem to come off.

So many great images today. The clinging Sophie is an inspiration.

And let me just reiterate your point. Cue the music! "Learning to trust yourself. It is the greatest gift of all!" Oh wait. That's supposed to be love. Oh well! It still works! LOL!

Lady Glamis said...

Change is frightening. I love the most recent thing I learned from a friend's post... find the opportunities in challenges.

I think change always presents a challenge, and with that comes opportunity, if we're willing to see it. Make something good of it all!

I think the hardest change for me is to watch my little one grow. It seems that one month she was in my arms the size of a football, and now she's sitting in her chair drinking juice and wolfing down bananas while spouting off the alphabet.

Great post. Now I'm all emotional. But it's good. :)

Justus M. Bowman said...

Will be on the lookout.