Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Not about that at all

This post isn't about how I'm obviously not a famous actor. Although really it may not be that obvious to you, you may have occasionally wondered from my scintillating wit and obvious creativity if I was. Rest assured. I am not.

Nor is it to bemoan the fact that I am not a famous actor. Certainly, the perks would be interesting. But worth it? To live with the ease of cooks and nannies and money? Overrated. For sure. It's character building to do all these things myself.

This post is definitely not about how I've gone on a personal Spending Freeze and all my jeans just feel old. For someone who wears lulus all the time this shouldn't matter but it does.

Also, I'd just like to point out that this post isn't to moan about how long these renovations are taking. I mean, it'll be so worth it in the end. As long as we haven't killed each other over the stress.

For sure this post is not about the eternal debate I suffer regarding the status of women. It will definitely not be about how the world is still structured around a man's needs and the only way a woman fits in is if she contorts herself to that mold. It isn't about the struggle that rears its head, which suggests that in order to work families outsource their childcare (usually to other women) who are paid a pittance (because otherwise how could it be worth it to work) to do what we so obviously value but value kind of like we value a really good bargain.

This post will not get into the fact that bosses bemoan the time that women take to provide care for sick children and now the up and coming sick elderly parents. This post will not address the fact that women step out of the workforce to bear these children and then step back in, only things have changed and for every year a woman is out of the workforce her earning power decreases dramatically.

This post has nothing to do with how we could fix this issue. This post will not provide any information whatsoever on things like universal childcare or subsidies or affordable care or anything like that. And this post will definitely not talk about how Quebec parents pay $7 per day per child for childcare while, if I could find spaces, I would pay $30 per child per day.

This post is about how you make your own bed and you lie in it. And that is just how it is and if you want to change anything then for god's sake, do something. Instead of writing about it.

Enough said. I take your point.


Lady Glamis said...

*heads off to do something about it*

Although I'm not quite sure what I can do? Any suggestions?

So many things bother me these days, but I feel helpless and small. I'm sure that's society making me feel that way. Me, the lowly stay-at-home mom.

*stands up and screams*

lotusgirl said...

I'd be a crusader, but I hate speaking in front of a crowd! Maybe I should do it all by email. Rule the world and correct all the injustices in it from my laptop. Ah. What a world it would be!

If only!

Wow! about the childcare costs in Quebec. How do they manage that?

Lisa and Laura said...

Love this. Just love it. It so perfectly captures the helplessness I feel when I really sit down and think about everything that is wrong in our world. It's just overwhelming and somehow guilt inducing.

And that's a whole new rant, I'm perpetually feeling guilty about not spending enough time with the kids, not performing to my highest abilities at work, for having so much stuff, for not making the time to volunteer, for having had a good childhood...I could go on and on and on.

All of these smart women out there, you'd think we'd all be able to band together and SOLVE.

Maybe if I solved something important I could stop feeling so damn guilty all the time.

Jill Wheeler said...

Amen, sister! This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently (um, you know why).

tasha said...

ok here is my problem solving for childcare. I dont know how it feels to leave your child with some one else. i dont have kids. but i do know how childcare works. I hate everything about childcare. i hate how much parents pay and i hate how little the childcare giver gets payed. i also know how these so called "childcare providers" work, or lack their of! so here is my problem solving solution: you and four other moms take turns watching eachothers kids. one day you have all the kids, the next day a different mom loks after the kids... and so on. that way you and the other moms can work four days out of the week. and you never have to pay. as long as you can trust these other moms it all works out. they would more then likely be way better with your children because you have to look after there kids too. i hope this makes sence. and maybe one day you should try it!!

spinregina said...

Lady G: I'm working on the suggestions. Please don't feel helpless and small! We are so lucky to have this (little) community to support each other.

Lois: Email. You would be the best at fixing this, with your way of being so kind while saying Important Things.

Lisa/Laura: (aside: I always wonder: am I connecting with one or two of you? how does this work? what if I like one better? what if it only works with the both of you?) All I can think of is time and place. Get our own houses in order, become fabulous published writers, and then use our influence for change....

Jill: You may not have these challenges to such degree in the US? Not sure? Again, CONGRATS!!

Tash: Thanks for weighing in on this. That is a GREAT idea. Somehow you should trademark it. Make a how-to manual. Maybe you've solved all our problems in a nutshell.