Thursday, July 28, 2011

Not

I spend a great deal of time working at being a better person, at being positive (definitely not my natural inclination), so this post may come across as the polar opposite of those goals. However, I have decided it is necessary in order to move me towards my goals.

Not sure of the goals yet as my molasses-like self improvement must be done in sequential steps and I have only so much time with my trio of ladies requiring all sorts of care, but even baby steps are steps.

I need to determine what is is that I am not, and let those things go.

I am not someone who loves gardening. While I appreciate people who do, and the consequences of their gardening (i.e. delicious lettuce for salads, fresh radishes, beautiful flowers, green foliage), I have no intentions of gardening. Whatsoever. I have carried around a desire to desire to garden for several years now, and I hereby relinquish it to the compost heap. Which I also don't have.

I do not like Canadian television programming. While I wish I did, shows funded by Canadian grants I find boring. Sole exception to this was one show a while back where the girl was a literary agent or something who got transported through time, but then it got all weird and I stopped watching. Canadian TV is like the poor man's intellectual equivalent of trying to be British. Where British television shows are razor sharp in humour, Canadian TV is simply boring. Give me some low brow American reality garbage any day.

I am not someone who can do the same thing, day-in, day-out. For sure I can put on deodorant, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, feed my kids...all that stuff that has to get done. Note: I did not say shower or wash my hair. Those things are expendable, in my opinion. Leads me to another...I am not someone who showers and/or washes my hair everyday. Rather, I need new, I need different, and I thrive on a project with a definite end date. And you know what I've figured out? That's not such a bad thing. The world needs the focused, the ones who keep the phones working and the lights turned on. But the world also needs the ones who put the flowers on the table. The ones who make sure everyone has a good time, and who understand that there is always another day on the horizon.

And, last but not least, I am not someone who has patience. I know, I know. Patience is a virtue, yadayadayada. However, it's impatience that motivates me and impatience that gets things done in my world.

And you know what?

That's okay by me.

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