Monday, August 18, 2014

My husband's uncle died recently and we went to the memorial service. They had a slideshow, of his life. It nearly killed me. Selfishly, all I could think about was my own life. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so very sad for his children, his wife, his brother. All the people he was close to and connected to. But as I watched that photo montage of his life, of him digging in the dirt as a toddler, with his mom on graduation day, getting married - as I watched his life in old photos, it struck me (of course it did) that we all have that life.

We have the baby pictures, the photos of us with our sibling playing in the backyard. The jumping off the dock at the cottage, the pushing a doll in a doll carriage. Sleeping on a parent. Everyone has that one. The posed pics, the candid. The school ones. And later, graduations and convocations, parties and birthdays and celebrations. Weddings. Dancing. We all have it.

And at some point we will all be gone. And our families will watch that slideshow and weep. And mourn. And that's what I was thinking about as we celebrated the life of this man, a father of three, grandfather, brother, son, husband, friend. We all will die, and will be no more. Life will go on around the empty space that we used to fill until even that space has slowly but surely been filled. And we are forgotten - I don't know even the names of my grandparent's parents. I know I have access, I could look it up, but I know nothing about them and that is how it will be within another three generations for me. My children's children will have children, and to them I will be a distant existence; necessary, but also uninteresting. Let me rephrase; perhaps interesting, perhaps uninteresting. But unimportant.

This is rather glum sounding but really isn't meant to be. It is what it is and of course I cling to life as hard and fast as I can because I want to, for me, and for my children. But it's good to remember it is all so very fleeting.

No comments: